Leadership

# Episode 119

**Summary:** In Episode #119 Ari interviews blogger, author and relationship coach Jordan Gray of [Jordan Gray Consulting](http://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/). During this podcast, Jordan discusses the nuances of his profession, the oft overlooked intricacies of life in the bedroom and the important distinction between male ejaculation and male orgasm. Jordan and Ari close the discussion by sharing some of their secrets for effective content production.

**Sponsored By:** – [Less Doing Live Event](https://lessdoinglabs.businessresearchgroup.org/sales/live-event-optin) – The Less Doing LIVE Event in NYC is less than six months away! The best minds in business and productivity are joining Ari in his hometown of New York City to share their tips, strategies and secrets for success. Visit [LessDoingLive.com](http://www.lessdoinglive.com/) to learn more about this fantastic opportunity running from May 1st – 3rd.

**Time Stamped Show Notes:**

– 22:46 – Introduction of Jordan Gray

– 23:15 – How Jordan became a relationship coach

– 24:15 – Most of Jordan’s clients are single, male entrepreneurs

– 24:25 – These men tend to be mission and passion driven; work is their #1 priority and their partners take the backseat

– 25:00 – Surprisingly, these men demonstrate a high-degree of sexual dysfunction in Jordan’s experience

– 25:40 – Is there a best-practice for dealing with these men?

– 26:45 – Jordan is an advocate of redirecting energy, specifically semen retention and harnessing sexual energy for greater sexual productivity

– 27:10 – The manifestation of energy redirection

– 28:44 – According to Taoist philosophy, men have more creative energy and “do better” when they _limit _their ejaculation frequency

– 30:50 – Men get a huge surge of testosterone roughly 6-7 days following their previous ejaculation

– 31:50 – Contrary to popular belief, men have their own unique hormonal cycle

– 32:50 – Men can have non-ejaculatory (dry) orgasms – 33:48 – This actually gets easier with age

– 35:15 – Learning to separate ejaculation and orgasm, in many cases, significantly increases sexual satisfaction

– 36:25 – More often than not, we take for granted how incredible our biological functions are

– 36:48 – Jordan produces an _unbelievable _amount of content

– 37:15 – The content production process

– 39:55 – Jordan designed his content production process so that it is _not _location specific

– 40:03 – Airplanes are a great place to plug-in and produce content

– 41:50 – People can fail to realize where distractibility comes from; finding a way to shut out external stimuli can radically improve performance

– 42:15 – Jordan’s take on the naturalness of monogamy

– 43:20 – Is monogamy natural?—No. Is it recommended for healthy living?—Yes.

– 43:55 – Jordan’s _Top 3 Tips to Be More Effective:_

– 44:20 – Ditch the mindset of “I need a career before I need a relationship”

– 45:10 – If 100% of your calendar is business focused, repurpose at least 10% for your relationship

– 46:50 – Create a shared Google Doc for you and your partner; a relationship bucket-list

– 48:05 – [JordanGrayConsulting.com](http://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/)

**7 Key Points:**

1. Many male entrepreneurs suffer from sexual dysfunction and struggle to maintain _healthy _relationships.
2. Redirect energy for increased productivity inside and outside the bedroom.
3. Studies show men benefit from a surge of testosterone when they go 6-7 days without an ejaculation.
4. Men have their own unique hormonal cycle.
5. Learning to separate ejaculation from orgasm gets easier with age; it is very challenging for males under the age of 25.
6. Block out external stimuli – both visual and auditory – to maximize productivity.
7. Monogamy is _not _natural but it is nevertheless an advantageous practice for humans.
8. **Resources Mentioned:** – [Design Pickle](http://designpick — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lessdoing/message

# **Summary:** In Special Episode #1 Ari sits down with Justin Mendelson of _[The Perfect Burpee](http://www.perfectburpee.com/)_, a revolutionary new personal exercise mat designed to help serious athletes get the most out of their workouts. During the call Ari asks Justin about the concept behind The Perfect Burpee and the difficulties in starting a small, production-based business.

**The Less Doing Live Event!** The [Less Doing Live Event](https://lessdoinglabs.businessresearchgroup.org/sales/live-event-optin) in NYC is less than six months away! The best minds in business and productivity are joining Ari in his hometown of New York City to share their tips, strategies and secrets for success. Visit [LessDoingLive.com](http://www.lessdoinglive.com/) to learn more about this fantastic opportunity running from May 1st – 3rd.

**Time Stamped Show Notes:**

– 01:57 – Introduction of Justin Mendelson

– 02:12 – Justin defines [HackFit](http://www.hackfit.com/)

– 03:55 – The origins of The Perfect Burpee

– 05:10 – Yoga mats are not conducive to high-intensity training

– 05:37 – Explaining what makes The Perfect Burpee _better _than other exercise mats available

– 08:20 – To evaluate mat materials for The Perfect Burpee, Justin did a number of things:

– 08:30 – He ordered every single variety of yoga mat available on Amazon.com

– 09:25 – He contacted a number of Asian manufacturing firms to see what materials they had available

– 09:45 – [Panjiva](https://panjiva.com/); a website designed to allow consumers to look up the overseas manufacturer of any domestically sold product

– 10:30 – Panjiva was ultimately the resource that enabled Justin to expedite his material research

– 11:20 – The process of actually getting the mats manufactured

– 12:58 – The mats are manufactured in Taiwan

– 13:03 – Justin explains the very practical reason behind his decision to set up a Kickstarter campaign

– 14:05 – To do the Kickstarter process well, planning is necessary

– 14:38 – Self-imposed development constraints helped The Perfect Burpee get off the ground with minimal, pre-Kickstarter investment

– 15:00 – Self-imposed restraints also fostered creativity

– 15:35 – Making the prototype and using it to test the consumer market

– 16:25 – Justin used free coupons for Google AdWords and Facebook AdWords to get the most out of their _insanely_ thin starting budget

– 17:44 – The price-point of a Kickstarer is unbelievably important; it can make or break the campaign

– 17:55 – Conduct a pricing analysis to make sure the price-point is competitive

– 21:33 – The Perfect Burpee Kickstarter launches on 1/14/2015

– 22:10 – The opening 24 hours of any Kickstarter or IndieGoGo campaign are the most important

– 25:05 – Hitting the funding goal is key to having a successful Kickstarter; it acts as a positive feedback loop

– 26:40 – [PerfectBurpee.com](http://www.perfectburpee.com/)

**5 Key Points:**

1. Find a way to make your passion a business.
2. Panjiva is an incredible resource for anyone interested in figuring out where products are made overseas.
3. The key to having a successful Kickstarter campaign is intelligent planning.
4. Find the right price-point for the product being sold, otherwise customers will look elsewhere.
5. To ensure your Kickstarter or IndieGoGo campaign is a success, set a modest funding goal and do everything possible to make sure the first 24-hours are

**_BIG_**! **Credits:** – Music and Audio Editing provided by [Felix Bird](http://2014.felixbird.com/) – Show Notes provided by [Mike Rossi](http://mikerossi.elance.com/) ——- [Get the FREE Optimize, Automate, Outsource Blueprint here.](https://go.lessdoing.com/blueprint?utm_campaign=blueprint-ari&utm_medium=link&utm_source=podcast) — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lessdoing/message

# Episode 118

**Summary:**

In Episode #118 Ari sits down with Dan Martell of [_Clarity_](https://clarity.fm/), a digital marketplace designed to provide people with desperately needed on-demand, expert advice on a variety of topics. During the conversation, Ari and Dan discuss the idea behind Clarity, the challenges of starting the business and their secrets for improving professional productivity.

**Sponsored By:** – [Less Doing Live Event](https://lessdoinglabs.businessresearchgroup.org/sales/live-event-optin) – The Less Doing LIVE Event in NYC is less than six months away! The best minds in business and productivity are joining Ari in his hometown of New York City to share their tips, strategies and secrets for success. Visit [LessDoingLive.com](http://www.lessdoinglive.com/) to learn more about this fantastic opportunity running from May 1st – 3rd.

**Time Stamped Show Notes:**

– 26:15 – Introduction of Dan Martell, the CEO and founder of _Clarity.FM_

– 26:30 – Definition and explanation of Clarity

– 26:59 – What Clarity _started as_ versus what it _has become_ are two different things

– 28:07 – Ari is on Clarity as an “expert”

– 28:18 – Clarity has over 40,000 experts and enables users to make contact with very high-level people

– 29:19 – Billing on Clarity is done by the _minute_ which is great for people who only need 5-10 minutes of talk time

– 32:00 – [LetMeGoogleThatForYou.com](http://lmgtfy.com/)

– 32:35 – At the time of recording, Clarity has recorded over 250K calls in only 15 months of being live

– 33:00 – Clarity has less than 30 employees

– 34:20 – Dan believes large teams of employees actually have a _negative _impact on productivity

– 35:00 – Why Clarity is unique when compared to competitors

– 35:45 – _Perception is reality_; Dan had to overcome the negative stigma of “pay-per-minute”

– 37:00 – The future of Clarity; Dan’s vision

– 37:43 – Liquidity of service and instant gratification; this is where the world is heading

– 38:07 – Notable experts are really only good for one thing: _marketing_

– 38:55 – Dan is hoping to attract more PhD/Doctorate type experts to broaden the Clarity “expert” pool

– 40:30 – How do users determine _who _to talk to?

– 42:22 – The onus for a successful call is on both the caller and the expert

– 43:33 – Overcoming the technical and logistical constraints of creating Clarity

– 43:49 – Obtaining supply

– 44:52 – Call infrastructure

– 45:24 – Scheduling and response times

– 47:06 – Dan’s _Top 3 Tips For Being More Effective_

– 47:50 – Practice “linkability”

– 48:49 – Only use digital tools that can be used on a mobile device

– 50:00 – Only use _one _channel of communication

– 51:10 – Teach people how to treat you

– 52:35 – [DanMartell.com/blog](http://www.danmartell.com/blog) and @DanMartell on Twitter

**7 Key Points:**

1.  What a business _starts as_ and what it _becomes_ are often two very different things.
2. Do not ask questions you can answer yourself with a minimal amount of effort.
3. Having a large number of employees in no way means your business will be more productive.
4. Perception _is _reality.
5. Liquid service (catering to instant gratification) is the future of business.
6. You can teach others how to treat you by conditioning them.
7. Commit to using one channel of communication as much as possible to improve productivity.

**Resources Mentioned:**

– [FullContact](https://www.fullcontact.com/gmail/) – “Steroids for Gmail”

– [Cell Scope](https://www.cellscope.com/) – An external accessory for the iPhone that enables the camera to be used as an otoscope

– [Ice Face](https://www.bulletproofexec.com/ice-face-cold-thermogenesis-vagus-nerve/) – A Bulletproof article discussing cold thermogenesis and the potential benefits of facial ice baths on health

– [Joynture](http://joynture.com/) – Ari’s new co-working space on Wall Street, featuring 24/7 access – — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lessdoing/message

# Episode 117

**Summary:** In Episode #117 Ari shares the Less Doing Podcast with famed Belgian psychotherapist and relationship consultant, [Esther Perel](http://www.estherperel.com/). During the show, Ari talks to Esther about her career-long examination of sexual health and the meaning behind _Erotic Intelligence_.

**Time Stamped Show Notes:**

– 21:57 – Introduction of Esther Perel

– 22:15 – Esther defines _Erotic Intelligence_

– 22:50 – Eroticism is not just sexuality, it is how we bring imagination, creativity, novelty, curiosity, focus and intentionality into our lives

– 23:15 – _Can intimacy kill your sex-life?_

– 24:05 – Intimacy lives in the realm of security, stability and predictability

– 24:13 – Sexuality lives in the realm of discovery, novelty and the unknown

– 24:27 – Good intimacy does _not _guarantee good sex

– 24:53 – The thing that is safe isn’t always the thing that can excite

– 26:39 – Curiosity is good; it helps to ward of complacency

– 27:42 – Understand how to evaluate the health of your creativity and imagination; do you bring something new to every situation?

– 28:17 – Uncertainty is _crucial _to passion

– 28:38 – To keep things interesting it is necessary to remain engaged

– 29:10 – Find a way to remain fully alive and hungry

– 30:58 – The difficulty of monogamy?—It is not natural

– 31:10 – Monogamy is a cultural system and a _choice _people make

– 31:51 – “Monogamy as a dual-gender, voluntary conviction is about 60 years old”

– 32:09 – Monogamy is a _continuum_

– 32:35 – In most heterosexual couples, monogamy is assumed rather than negotiated and this is a weakness

– 33:00 – Monogamy is assumed far less in homosexual couples, particularly gay men

– 33:40 – Managing the unnaturalness of monogamy

– 34:00 – The fact that something isn’t natural doesn’t mean it is not justifiable within a cultural framework

– 34:18 – Most couples do not talk about sex, and if they do, they do not converse with the person with whom they have the sex

– 36:00 – Only examining your sexual health when a mistake is made (like infidelity) is akin to only checking your cardiovascular health when you’re in the emergency room

– 36:30 – Western culture talks with great frequency about sexual disease, sexual dysfunction and sexual betrayal, but we fail to discuss sexual _health_

– 37:25 – How the continuum of monogamy looks over time

– 37:37 – People apply to committed relationships a model that they would _never _apply to their businesses

– 40:33 – Make the time to talk to your partner, don’t be afraid to ask the big questions

– 41:11 – Esther Perel’s _Top 3 Tips for Being More Effective_:

– 41:23 – It is _essential _to be accountable – responsibility _is _freedom

– 41:53 – It is easy to be critical, it is far more difficult to be appreciative

– 42:21 – Nothing we achieve is ever done alone

– 43:12 – [www.EstherPerel.com](http://www.estherperel.com/)

**7 Key Points:**

1. Success is impossible alone.
2. Accountability and responsibility increase personal freedom.
3. Learn to be appreciative no matter how difficult it may seem.
4. Good intimacy and good sex do _not _go hand-in-hand.
5. Curiosity is the best medicine in combating complacency.
6. Monogamy is not natural; rather it is a social and cultural construct.
7. Just because something is not natural, does not mean it is not _acceptable _within the confines of a structured society.

**Resources Mentioned:**

– [How to Eat Healthy](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/how-to-eat-healthy/) – Article from Barking Up the Wrong Tree featuring strategies to help people make better dietary decisions

– [Health Benefits of Being a Woma — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lessdoing/message

# Episode 116

**Summary:** In Episode #116 Ari speaks with [Jordan Belfort](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordan_Belfort), the _real _Wolf of Wall Street. During this insightful and in-depth interview, Jordan talks about his mastery of salesmanship, the secret to his post-prison success and the development of the [Straight Line](http://jordanbelfort.com/products-list/) sales method. Ari also takes this opportunity to ask _The Wolf _about the accuracy of the film portraying his infamous life on Wall Street.

**Time Stamped Show Notes:**

– 18:18 – Introduction of Jordan Belfort, the _real _Wolf of Wall Street

– 18:42 – Jordan spends most of his time on the road touring

– 19:12 – The motivation for spending most of the time on the road is derived from an ability to make large sums of money _and _impact people’s lives positively

– 20:12 – Ari asks Jordan directly about Straight Line, efficiency and salesmanship

– 21:50 – Sales is _everything _in life and business; it’s not about closing deals it’s about sharing your ideals, concepts and vision

– 22:35 – The biggest mistake people make is exclusively thinking of sales as closing deals

– 23:30 – The Straight Line system is about optimizing a process and repeating it in a “straight line”

– 24:17 – Becoming the _Wolf_

– 25:01 – Necessity was the mother of invention for Jordan

– 25:55 – Closing a single deal versus getting a long-term client

– 27:01 – Cultivating a base of “brand evangelists” is one of the best things anyone can do for their business

– 28:15 – Too many internet marketers believe that if they can “master” the art of digital marketing they can forever avoid speaking with a person offline

– 29:05 – How to overcome the classic objection of “I need to ask my XXXX…”

– 30:18 – Objections are smokescreens for uncertainty

– 33:21 – Being able to answer the objection, while a benefit, is _not_ what closes the deal…it only provides you with the right to continue speaking

– 35:11 – Selling is about cultivating certainty

– 35:30 – Jordan shares a _positive_ consequence of prison –

35:47 – Success is about being able to turn lemons into lemonade

– 36:35 – Prison and learning how to write

– 37:10 – Over the course of a lifetime, _everyone_ makes bad decisions that result in hardship; no person is exempt from this fate

– 37:23 – What a person does in the wake of said bad decision is what matters; how can you harness the negative and convert it into a positive?

– 39:31 – Jordan talks about Bill Gates

– 40:37 – Ari asks Jordan to identify the biggest falsehood from the movie _[The Wolf of Wall Street](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wolf_of_Wall_Street_%282013_film%29)_

– 43:10 – Jordan’ _Top 3 Tips for Being More Effective_

– 43:15 – Master the art of persuasion

– 43:45 – To learn how to delegate authority effectively

– 44:32 – Transcend goal setting and focus on your vision

– 45:40 – [JordanBelfort.com](http://jordanbelfort.com/)

**7 Key Points:**

1. Find a way to make good money _and _impact people’s lives positively.
2. “Sales is _everything_;” it’s not about closing deals it’s about conveying your ideas and vision.
3. Necessity is the mother of invention.
4. Create brand evangelists and watch your business grow.
5. When it comes to sales, objections are smokescreens for uncertainty; Selling is about cultivating certainty.
6. Everyone is destined to make bad decisions that result in varying degrees of hardship.
7. To find success as an entrepreneur, surround yourself with the best talent available and learn how to delegate authority.

**Resources Mentioned:**

– [How to Read People](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/how-to-read-people/?utm_content=bufferef086&utm_medium=socia — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lessdoing/message